How to Socialize Young Children

HOW TO SOCIALIZE YOUNG CHILDREN*
Raymond S. Moore**

One of the twentieth century's most intriguing and dangerous fables insists that your children must be stimulated academically and socialized early. In order to do this, it says, you should toss them into the middle of preschool or get them involved with lots of their peers -- the more the merrier. And it all seems so logical at first sight that you, as a concerned parent, can hardly wait to get them involved. Yet this is precisely the experience that most young children do not need. Little children are not little adults. They do not think, act, or react like adults. Their mental, emotional, and social processes are quite different.

Although early academic stimulation has long been subject to serious question by child specialists, the socialization myth may in the long run be the greater threat. Little children are, of course, often highly stirred by a crowd of their peers, but at preschool age this excitement is more likely to confuse your youngsters than to make them truly sociable. And frequently it actually generates antisocial tendencies, making little rebels out of them, if not genuine neurotics. When this happens they reap the whirlwind in adolescence.

In 1902 the Ladies' Home Journal pioneered a response-from-readers column -- an idea now widely copied in the press. School entrance age had become an issue. And letter after parental letter cited physical and mental health problems created by early starts. One of them particularly noted an experiment by a number of parents. They found that when they invited 20 or 30 little ones to a birthday party, the children were too excited to sleep that night and were irritable the next day. When they invited only four or five, there were no problems.

Now nearly 75 years later, while circumstances have changed, the vulnerability of our children has not. There are many studies which suggest strongly that there is no security so great nor any socializing agency so positive and powerful as reasonably consistent parents in the climate of a warm and responsive home.

Child psychologists point out that children do very well when they can operate on a one-to-one basis or work in small groups of two or three or four. But strain often shows when they meet with classroom-size or larger groups for typical all-class activities.

As a parent, I should decide wisely what kind of social creature I want my child to be. Many preschoolers may indeed become "socialized," but don't be surprised if they develop a negative sociality. And this can happen even though the teacher or caregiver is an expert. On the other hand, if young children are given time to blossom naturally, they are more likely to develop into positive, altruistic social creatures.

The quality of a child's sociality depends not so much on how many children he plays with as it does on his emotional stability, his sense of self-worth, and his unselfish concern for others. These usually reflect the quality of parental example and the strength of his attachment to warm and consistent parents.

One day recently two doting grandfathers in separate conversations insisted that their little grandsons were so bright and mature that they would not dare to deprive them of the "social advantage" of preschool. Dr. Harold McCurdy of the University of North Carolina studied the childhood patterns of 20 selected geniuses. He concluded that there were three factors which were common to these great men of history:

Seeking factors common to the early life of the twenty geniuses he selected, Dr. McCurdy came up with three: "(1) a high degree of attention focused upon the child by parents and other adults, expressed in intensive educational measures and, usually, abundant love; (2) isolation from other children, especially outside the family; (3) a rich efflorescence of phantasy, as a reaction to the two preceding conditions."

Dr. McCurdy concluded that our educational system as it generally operates today has the effect of "reducing all three of the above factors to minimum values." and, he believes, tends to suppress rather than encourage genius.

Building a Positive SociabilityPositive and negative sociability are not difficult to understand.

Take the mother, for example, who brings her child into a home-making partnership. As far as the child is concerned they are "playing house" in the highest dimension. When the infant first begins to toddle, he can learn to put his toys away in a box in the corner. He can "help" make the beds by tugging on the spread or smoothing the sheets. He of course is not much help at first, but a little patience here will plant seeds of order, responsibility and industry, which with reasonably consistent cultivation will flower into self-reliance and altruism. A strong sense of self-worth thus developed is the essential basis for a truly stable, sociable child -- or person of any age.By the time such a child is three of four, he is setting and clearing the table -- counting out knives, forks, spoons and dishes, and learning further lessons in order as well as elementary arithmetic. He shortly can assist in doing dishes, counting eggs, measuring flour, quartering apples, and otherwise adding to his knowledge and skill. By the time he is eight or nine -- which is more nearly the right time for most children to begin school -- he is able to clean house, prepare and often even purchase food, do elementary ironing, sewing and be a strong help instead of a drag on his parents.

This experience will be much more productive if daddy spends some time daily with the children -- boys and girls. Toys they make, however simple, and things they do together -- such as shining shoes, washing the car, weeding the garden or making a birdhouse -- pay off handsomely in later mutuality, and avoid the rebellion which may often otherwise be expected. A small child finds a single piece of pointed board highly challenging to his imagination. It may be a boat or a car or a truck; or with a cross piece it may be an airplane. But the important factors are that (1) he and daddy or mother shared in its building and (2) that it, unlike most toys, leaves something to the imagination.

The creative spark abetted by parental fellowship -- whether with mother or father -- builds in children a desirable independence. As they share in the home duties and responsibilities they feel needed, wanted, and depended upon. These experiences are the bricks, mortar, and reinforcement of self-worth and a positive, altruistic sociability.

Some say this is fine for the suburbs or the country, but how about the city? And suppose he has no daddy? Remember that the children in the city schools generally are the product of their environment. Going to school does not make your children's peers any better associates than those at your doorstep. Of course, if you trust the teacher's supervision more than you do your own, your child may be better off. But remember that she normally cannot give such personal care as you can provide. And remember, too, for your young child under 7 or 8, your warm, consistent responses are the most powerful positive socializing forces he can know. Your influence is so compelling that if you are forced to work the child tends to understand and will react with greater confidence and a stronger attachment than if your absence were not necessary.

Toward a Negative Sociability
Some may argue that preschool or kindergarten is not like a party of 15 to 30 children. The fact is that unless the caregiver is an expert, it is often worse. The child often leaves the one-to-one relationship with his parents to compete with many of his peers for the teacher's attention. They also are involved in unhealthful rivalry for peer approval and become locked into peer values, many of them for life. Researchers Albert Bandura, John Condry, Michael Siman, Urie Bronfenbrenner and others point out that where less than a generation ago our children were well within the age of reason before they turned from family values to those of their peers, they now come under these peer influences at the preschool level. In some American preschools and kindergartens of course this is less obvious than in others. But caring for little tykes under 6 or 7 in groups of 15 or 20 or 30 or more is not for most of them the best way to provide them security, identity, stability, and creative outlets

To the extent that a child is insecure or dependent on his peers he will be lacking in a sound sense of self-worth. (Remember that a sound self-concept is a basic dynamic for a positive social disposition.) If the child is fearful, apprehensive, or selfish by nature, his concept will be relatively low.

Janet Kastel, head of teacher seminars for a number of Israeli kibbutzim, points out the young child's need for solitude to work out his own fantasies. This in fact is an essential to positive sociability -- to first be sure of himself without interference. She notes how in the kibbutz, which is not family oriented, children do not even have time or place to cry alone without the other children looking on and possibly making fun. So, she says, they accommodate. And they grow up, more and more dependent upon their peers in all social and emotional respects. Initiative and creativity are stifled. By adolescence the experience of making decisions on their own, without group approval, becomes traumatic, or they cannot make such decisions at all. Indeed, Miss Kastel says, they make very good soldiers.

If the school must provide the care, then let it be as much as possible like a warm, responsive, consistent home. Following are some of the qualities and/or practices which our studies (Moore, Kordenbrock & Moore, 1976) have found to be characteristic of outstanding preschools and care centers:
(1) Staffing with warm, responsive, consistent teacher-caretakers,(2) Maintaining small adult-child ratios,(3) Using residential houses where possible instead of school buildings,(4) Grouping of children in house rooms instead of classrooms with children placed in family-type play groups, varying the ages,(5) Alertness to the frequent need to compensate for language and cultural differences,(6) Providing daily homemaking experiences including gardening, cooking, cleaning, etc. in lieu of more conventional kindergarten play,(7) Programs free from formal teaching, academic orientation or even primary stress on readiness for the primary grades,(8) Scheduling adequate nap and other rest periods for all children,(9) Continuity of teacher personnel,(10) In the teachers a sense of parenthood-more-than-pedagogy.The best of the preschools and care centers recognize these factors. In Melbourne, Australia, we found that the city was buying homes for care centers, not far from the children's own homes. And the children generally were kept in small play or work groups of four to six to avoid larger excitement. In the original Rudolph Steiner school (or Waldorf School) in Stuttgart, Germany, the children were playing house much like they would in any reasonably good home -- grinding flour, baking bread, eating their own cooking, doing dishes, cleaning house, gardening, washing, ironing, sewing, etc. It was the best kindergarten we have seen -- much like a big family. In a similar school in Salzburg, Austria, the teachers, mostly university students, deliberately acted more like parents than pedagogues, and the home-likeness was quickly sensed.

Adult to child ratios in both Melbourne and Stutgart were about 1:5. The Steiner schools have an additional advantage making them more like a good home in operation. The teacher who starts with a group of children continues with them through several grades -- providing the vital continuity which young children need. But note that the effectiveness of the best preschools generally depends on how closely they simulate a good home. The question logically arises, Why take them out of their homes in the first place -- unless absolutely necessary.

The effect of the peer group is electric on the young child whose values are not yet stabilized -- who has not yet become self-reliant, does not yet feel truly wanted and needed. They quickly imitate the attitudes and activities of their peers, if they have not had time to develop independence

James Hymes, prominent early childhood specialist, points out like the 1902 Ladies' Home Journal readers that little children do well on a one-to-one, face-to-face basis. They play nicely in small groups of two or three or four. But when the "social beginner" is placed in a larger group, anxiety or tension usually follows. This may appear to be excitement, but for the child it is not necessarily joy. While some stress may help the learning process, it does not take much to get the young child's perceptions disorganized.

Child psychologist Urie Bronfenbrenner points out that withdrawal of the family from its primary functions of child rearing is "a major factor threatening the breakdown of the socialization process in America." He notes that other institutions than family "have created and perpetuated the age-segregated, and thereby often amoral or anti-social, world in which our children live and grow." And, he concludes, central among the institutions which, by their structure and limited concern, have encouraged these socially disruptive developments have been our schools (Bronfenbrenner, Two Worlds of Childhood -- U.S. and U.S.S.R., pp. 152 and 153).

It has been found that elementary school children in general have difficulty maintaining a positive sense of self-worth, after they enter school (Stanwyck, 1971).

Donald Felker reports that from the time the children enter school they show a steady downward trend of self-concept as they meet the pressures of the early school years. An implication of this is that the very nature of school is detrimental in its effect on children's self-image. At the 5th grade level they begin to improve again in their self-concept. Though school is hard on all, the children who begin with a negative or low self-concept have an especially hard time. In other words the pressures of school affect adversely those who already are the most disadvantaged. (Donald W. Felker, Building Positive Self-Concepts, Burgess Publishing Co., Minneapolis, MN, 1974).

Note that at the fifth grade or at about age 10 or 11 children begin to find themselves. If youngsters, wherever possible, can remain on a one-to-one basis in the reasonably warm, consistent and responsive homes, their opportunity to mature and stabilize in self-concept will normally be much greater. And it is less likely that they will be disturbed when they go to school. For those children who must have out-of-home care the environment should be as homelike as possible.

We may feel that our own preschools are excellent. And many of them are -- especially the university showcases. But most preschools and kindergartens are far from desirable gardens for children and many of them are children's ghettos. It takes a very good school to satisfactorily substitute for the security of even a relatively poor home.

California State School Superintendent Wilson Riles points to that state's low adult-child ratios to meet these needs. They have accomplished this by bringing in a variety of aides, volunteers, and ad hoc parents. This is window-dressing which does not necessarily help the child. It does not provide the child the continuity and one-to-one attachment he needs. In fact, he may become attached to a particularly attractive volunteer or substitute parent, only to have that one leave for illness, vacation, or a day off. And a mini-tragedy is created. "Paradoxically," says Bronfenbrenner, (Two Worlds of Childhood -- U.S. and U.S.S.R., p. 97), "the more people there are around, the fewer the opportunities for meaningful contact."

These are days of fleeting relationships for our little children. Most of them need less excitement, the gross social milieu, the grand variety show. They need quiet, stability, and one-to-one attachment undiluted by nursery school whenever this is possible. Otherwise we should simulate such an environment as best we can.

Our children depend much more on their peers today than they did 10 or 20 years ago at every age and grade level. Parents are becoming less important as information and security sources. Perhaps some parents and educators would have it this way. But not those who are really concerned with the welfare of the child. Martin Engel, who headed the National Day Care Demonstration Center (HEW) says:

The motive to rid ourselves of our children, even if it is partial, is transmitted more vividly to the child than all our rationalizations about how good it is for that child to have good interpersonal peer group activities, a good learning experience, a good foundation for school, life, etc., etc. And even the best, more humane and personalized day care environment cannot compensate for the feeling of rejection which the child unconsciously senses.

An increasing number of psychologists and psychiatrists are dreading peer dependency as a "social contagion" and are now questioning unnecessary preschool and day care. Dr. Bronfenbrenner observes on the basis of his research that children below the sixth grade who spend more of their elective time with their agemates than with their parents and like adults, have a dim view of their peers, their parents, themselves and their future, and are likely candidates for learning failure and delinquency. And usually this separation of parent and child is more by parental default than by preference of the child. Glen Nimnicht, formerly a Head Start chief psychologist, now says that the child whose mother reads to him and plays with him even 20 or 30 minutes a day is better off than if he had several hours of preschool with all those little socializers.

Nor need this suggestion deprive teachers of jobs, as many fear. There is no greater challenge to society today than that of parenthood education. Educators and legislators have somehow convinced many mothers and dads that the schools can out-parent the homes. The teachers' greatest contribution may well be in convincing parents of the unique privilege and responsibility rather than urging or requiring them to give it up -- by unnecessarily institutionalizing their children. There is much to do at all school levels and through media of all kinds to educate both present and future parents.

"We must decide," suggests Sylvia Parmenter, a Royal Oak, Michigan mother, "whether our children are going to be the property of the state from ever-earlier years or if those of us who want them can keep them and give them the warmth and security their tender years require."
If you are eager for an adventure, a revealing experience, take a trip to a half dozen random nursery schools or kindergartens. Note carefully specific children and how they react to adults and each other. Then in your mind's eye place these children in a home setting -- working out their fantasies in solitude, being cuddled as the prime objects of mother's affection as she reads to them, napping securely in their own bed.

All of course cannot have this luxury. But for the security, stability, and sense of self-worth which it brings -- so rare among today's kids -- why deprive them of it unless absolutely necessary? Commenting on these needs, a well-known and highly-respected child psychologist, John Bowlby, of the World Health Organization, suggests that even a bad home is better for the young child than a good institution. When we first heard this we were startled. But after careful analysis of more than 7,000 early childhood studies, conferring with leading parental attachment authorities and studying many homes and schools, we are convinced he is not far from right. If you want a truly sociable, well-balanced child, give him the benefit of a reasonably warm, responsive and consistent home until at least 8 or 10 if possible. Never mind a fancy education, just stay close to your kids with as little interference as possible from outside. It may seem old-fashioned, but so is gold.

BIBLIOGRAPHY
Bandura, Albert; Ross, Dorothea, and Ross, Sheila A. "Transmission of Aggression Through Imitation of Aggressive Models," Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology 62 (1961): 575-582.
Bowlby, John. Maternal Care and Mental Health. New York: Schocken Books, 1967.
Bronfenbrenner, Urie. Two Worlds of Childhood -- U.S. and U.S.S.R. New York: Simon and Schuster, 1970.
Condry, John C., Jr.; Siman, Michael L., and Bronfenbrenner, Urie. "Characteristics of Peer- and Adult-Oriented Children." Unpublished manuscript. Department of Child Development, Cornell University, 1968.
Engel, Martin. n.d. The Care and Feeding of Children for Fun and Profit: Some Thoughts on Day Care. Unpublished manuscript. National Demonstration Center in Early Childhood Education.
Felker, Donald W. Building Positive Self-Concepts Minneapolis: Burgess Publishing Co., 1974.
Hymes, J. L. "A Child Centered Program." In Teaching the Child Under Six. Columbus, Ohio: Merrill Publishing Company, 1968.
Kastel, Janet. Documented interview with Raymond S. Moore. Hewitt Research Center, Berrien Springs, Michigan. October, 1973.
Ladies' Home Journal. "The New Department: Mothers' Meetings." (February 1902): 16.
McCurdy, Harold G. "The Childhood Pattern of Genius." Horizon 2 (May 1960): 38.
Nimnicht, Glen. Letter to R. S. Moore. 29 September 1972.
Parmenter, Sylvia. Conversation with R. S. Moore. May, 1976.
Riles, W. The Early Childhood Education Program Proposal. Sacramento: California State Department of Education. 1972.
Stanwyck, D. J.; Felker, D. W.; and Van Mondfrans, A. P. "An Examination of the Learning Consequences of One Kind of Civil Disobedience." Educational Theory (1971).
*A paper commissioned by the International Academy for Preventive Medicine and presented at the meeting of the Academy at Bad Nauheim, Germany, June 11, 1976.
**Dr. Moore is principal author of such parent handbooks as Better Late Than Early, Reader's Digest-McGraw Hill, 1976, School Can Wait, Brigham Young University Press, 1979, and is contributor to over 30 other books on the young child and the family.

From "How to Socialize Young Children" by Raymond S. Moore

A field trip and expectations

This little one went on a field trip today...



Trips to the zoo are always so much fun. But this time around, we were kinda tired and disappointed as soon as we got to the Taipei Zoo and realized we only had an hour to explore.

It helped that we had gone here before, but still...



At least we got to see the panda China donated to Taiwan. We also got to see the koalas we didn't get to see last time. Looked more like sloths to me. =)

The little one was just happy to see his beetles.



We didn't really have any plans on doing anything around Taipei 101. But a trip to Taipei wouldn't be complete without it.

We kept asking Matt what he remembered from the zoo and if he remembered the damper (and Damper Babies) from Taipei 101. But methinks he barely recalls much.

Lesson for the day for Mommy: As much as I'd like to pump Matt full of information and trivia, bring him to wonderfully informative field trips, there's only so much a four-to-five-year-old can remember.

So relax and just enjoy the trip. If he remembers anything, great. If he doesn't then great too. At least we all had fun.

Slowly but surely

We're currently in Taiwan again. Matt and I are slowly but surely (hopefully, God willing)recovering from the awful summer of sickness. We've managed to slide in a day or two of homeschooling in the past months.

Been fantasizing of just enrolling Matt in an international preschool and not have to suffer the guilt of being so delayed in his schooling. But we don't really have the budget for that right now. And I honestly think that homeschooling, at least for now, is really meant for us.

Right now, it's such a small miracle to be able to travel with AR. Although we're staying here for a month, by the end of which, he'll take us home and then come back here for another 2 weeks. Still... to be able to be where he is is such a blessing for our little family.

Matt has been incredibly hyper lately. More than usual. AR and I are wondering if it's just because he was totally exhausted the week before we came here. We were busy running around, doing errands, meeting people, etc. It was all fun. But even AR and I admit it was totally exhausting. And that it's just beginning to take its toll.

I've suffered from insomnia lately, thinking and worrying about too many things.

Anyway, inch by slow inch, the snail will, hopefully, reach the ark.

**************************************************************************

I had a friend ask me point blank, "So what are the benefits of homeschooling?"

Around me, mommies who have enrolled their kids in regular school keep hoping I'll suddenly drop my crazy crusade to homeschool and be like other normal people and have a life aside from being a stay-at-home mom/homeschooler.

My response is this:

1. This was not really our first choice. It was surely that of a Greater Hand at Work when, due to AR traveling to Taiwan for long periods of time and so often for this year and last year, we considered homeschooling. We found out more about it, found a good curriculum provider, and have been homeschooling ever since.

2. I didn't even consider homeschooling. I didn't even know what it was. But having enrolled Matt in an awful school when he was 3 for toddler school traumatized us for life. Matt turned into a sullen, hyper, naughty little boy.

We knew it got really bad when Matt lifted a stool and was going to hit a one-year-old boy with it. He was friends with the worst boys in the class, the class bullies, and did not even listen to the teacher and competed with the teacher in making noise in the classroom. If you knew Matt, you'd know this wasn't him at all. He's an affectionate, friendly, talkative little happy person. And seeing him turn into this awful person was just unbearable.

It didn't help that the teacher he quickly learned to love resigned due to constant disagreements with the management. Our last day at that school was, right in front of the teacher, the bully friend of Matt pulled him too hard and let his chest slam on the wooden stool in front of him.

At home, Matt turned a deaf ear to whatever we said.

We just knew that rather than learn to be a good person at school, he was learning that it's okay not to respect your elders and to just do what you want.

Do you know that feeling that you'll be haunted for life for one mistake you did? Until now, Matt shifts from Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. But at least, since he's always with us, we can catch him turning into Mr. Hyde and can pull out the Dr. Jekyll again.

3. We moved from Parañaque to Pasig on June 8. It wouldn't have been possible for us to enroll him in a school and then move to another city. Plus our finances took an incredible plunge into negative when we moved, adjusting to new bills, buying basic house supplies, etc. We were definitely thankful we didn't have tuition fees and school supplies to worry about.

4. Since Matt's and my immune systems were down all summer, I don't think we would have survived going out under the constant rains and storms at the beginning of the school year. Plus, around that time, that was when the AHN1 virus was just everywhere, from the malls to the schools. I was honestly glad we got to stay home and away from all the chaos. And we gave ourselves the chance to recover without making it worse.

5. You may ask, do I ever get tired of being together with my kid 24/7? I will definitely answer yes. And you may ask me, where do I get the patience? Honestly, I have none. I have a lousy temper. But you also realize that the more that you lose your temper, the less the kid will learn since he'll just be too scared to remember what you're trying to teach him. Homeschooling teaches you, if nothing else, to be a good parent. Not just because you have to develop patience, which is already a lot. But you learn who your kid is, what his interests are, what makes him happy, how to discipline him by taking away privileges he really loves. You learn from each other.

6. On the bad side, yeah, of course I worry that Matt has no friends, no classmates, no regular people to interact with. And he does crave for that. If you ever met him, you'd see he's the friendliest, most talkative, most affectionate little boy you've ever met. But I also know that being with other people makes him super-duper hyper. That he gets tired easily, that he will run and run and run and talk and talk and talk and won't care if he's already exhausted. I knew that when he was 3. We'd get more and more tired every day that passed that I had to bring him to school. We'd end up so tired that by the middle of the week, we'd have to take a break and be absent from school just to rest up. Matt doesn't have ADHD. At least I don't think so. But I do know what his limits are. And I know that if I pushed him, he'd get even more hyper and grumpy and sullen.

So where does he get his social interaction? With me and his Dad, his cousins, his Lolo and Lola, my Mom, my brother, the kids at the playground at our village, the salesladies at SM, the housekeeping staff here at the hotel, the receptionists, the cashier at the local convenience stores here. In short, every single person he meets.

Yes, I worry that he doesn't have any close friends of the same age. But, at the same time, I sigh in relief that we don't have to agonize over peer pressure until later on.

Yep, have thought of putting Matt in an environment where he can meet kids of the same age. But I'm thinking more along the lines of music classes or Sunday school. So far, we haven't really found any available classes yet. Suggestions are very welcome.

7. It's such a blessing to be able to teach Matt good values and principles in life. He knows how to pray with his own words, he declares that he loves the Philippines and the Philippine flag, he wants to learn to speak Filipino even if we've fallen behind in teaching him Filipino, he has very set ideas of what's right and wrong. It's a joy to see him so passionate about TV and computer games, books, beetles, movies, traveling, experiencing things for the first time.

Homeschooling is not for everyone. But for our family, we're just enjoying being able to take things a day at a time, a moment at a time. And homeschooling or just learning things everyday as a family not only makes it possible, it makes us realize that life goes by too fast not to do so.

"By perseverance the snail reached the ark." -- Charles H. Spurgeon

Summer and sick days

I've been corresponding with a sweet grandmother of a friend for some time now so she knows we've been in and out of being sick this entire summer.

I'd say it was a shame to be sick during the summertime but I'm actually relieved to be taking a break from the curriculum. After all, there's nothing worse than trying to go to school when it's a lovely day out.

Since we've only suffered from coughs and colds, it hasn't really gotten us bedridden or anything. We're still free to go about our business -- doing housechores, going grocery-shopping. We just can't homeschool since I don't want to exhaust my sore throat and cough on Matt or his school things while we're doing lessons. Plus I can't expect him to answer and recite his memory work while coughing too.

Being sick and taking a break from homeschool, we have more idle hours. We've spent more time cuddling upon waking up, while watching TV, being able to choose more interesting programs, being able to explain more things to Matt since we're not trying to beat the clock trying to accomplish everything, being able to go out and just enjoy the fresh air outside.

I guess we're also enjoying our last few days in this house. Although Mother Nature has reminded us time and again that this is her territory (we live in a village in Paranaque with trees and still empty lots with tall weeds), we've come to a comfortable co-existence. I'm such a city girl that I don't like plants or bugs very much. (Although I like the beach.)

But Matt positively adores nature. He's such a boy. The other day, we threw old bread we'd torn into smaller pieces on our driveway and watched the birds swooping in ocassionally to grab a piece. The other night, when there was a blackout for an hour, we went outside and enjoyed the night air and the stars on a moonless night.

I know I shouldn't be too hard on myself on being so late in finishing up Matt's curriculum. And I do know that no matter what happens, we have to stay true to our course and finally cross the finish line.

But, as it is, we're taking things a day at a time, a moment at a time. And, for me, just seeing Matt's face, seeing him happy, curious, equally excited with books, nature, toys and TV, I'm just so thankful that God gave me an angel on earth to take care of.

God's will be done.

When life takes over...

Just wanted to post something as I feel bad that I haven't written anything in so long.

It really does feel that Matt and I are on summer vacation with the rest of the student population. Matt has another bad cough so I couldn't bear to make him go through homeschool last week.

Some updates:

1. I just had my birthday. I'm 31. There was a family problem that arose the day before so have been trying my best NOT to think about it.

2. It would help if we were actually packing up so that we can move to the new condo. But DMCI is taking its sweet time in the turnover.

3. I wish whatever bug our family has finally leaves for good. Matt has been in and out of colds and a cough. AR and I are okay but I also have a sore throat from time to time.

4. I can't believe it's May and we're barely half-way through the first manual in the Pre-Reading Program. I think Matt has 3 or 4. Basically, it's one week per letter of the alphabet. And, as it is, we're already doing homeschool (on a good week) three times a week.

5. I'm just closing my eyes and praying for the best.

Earth Day 2009

There are a lot of celebrations and events I've been blissfully unaware of until I had my own kid. One of them is Earth Day.

What is Earth Day?

Earth Day Crafts and Activities

So, even if it just to watch "An Inconvenient Truth" or grab a book, do be part of celebrating Earth Day 2009 on Wednesday, April 22, 2009.

Break

We haven't had any homeschool for a little over a week now.

We left and arrived in Parañaque on Maundy Thursday. And although we could have been a little more creative in celebrating the rest of Holy Week, it's been the most meaningful that AR and I ever celebrated it since we were kids ourselves.

On Good Friday, we were able to catch a Stations of the Cross over at the Shrine of Jesus beside Mall of Asia. Black Saturday, we went back to do shopping in preparation for Easter Sunday. We got manila paper, watercolor paints, and a big bottle of PVA to make Easter eggs. We also got two books on Easter for Matt.

Easter Sunday, we made funny-looking Easter eggs made from crumpled manila paper, which Matt happily colored. Before that, AR was able to read the Easter books to Matt. Later in the afternoon, we rushed back to Mall of Asia. Unfortunately, we missed the Easter festivities at the Music Hall but did just make it in time to watch the Easter parade.

Last week, we stayed at my Mom's house and just spent some time with my Mom, sis-in-law and my two nieces and nephew. One of my nieces and I had a date Friday night to watch Zac Efron in "17 Again" and it was fun to gush like a teenager over Zac. *Note: Watch the movie! It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It has a moral to the story that I think any age could relate to. It's actually an adult-themed movie.

Today, we were supposed to hit the books. But I've still been catching up on a lot of things -- organizing our things, checking my online communities and responsibilities on a Jurassic age dial-up Internet connection, and then wondering how to pack as much as possible for our move to the new condo.

I can't believe it's time to move out of this house, but believe me, it's a very welcome development in our life.

I will definitely miss this house but I also know it's time to move on. My Mom needs her house back and we're definitely eager to have our own little nest to decorate and build up as we want to.

I am getting tired of perpetually packing and unpacking things in boxes and luggages. We've been literally living out of our luggages for 4 years now. And it'd be definitely a welcome change to actually have cabinets we can put our stuff in.

Somewhere in the midst of everything, I hope to still be able to continue Matt's curriculum. He's incredibly late as it is. But I'm always amazed at how smart and curious he is so I'm not that worried we're moving at a snail's pace with his curriculum.

We're definitely taking things a day at a time.

Charlotte Mason Method

I have no idea how many teaching methods there are and how to even go about finding out about all of them. But I'm having fun discovering them along the way.

Here is a wonderful article on how to employ the Charlotte Mason teaching method.

For more information, click here.

I'm fast learning that you can pick up a lot of tips and techniques in teaching from the different ways to teach.

* Note: We'll be coming back home to Manila, hopefully, on Thursday. Can't tell you how relieved I am to be coming home. Although I really do miss Taoyuan, Taiwan whenever we leave, living in a hotel room for around 2 months or so definitely drains a lot of energy.

Matt is eager to see his cousins before they leave for the States. For good. =(

Confession: I can't tell you how relieved I am to also take a break from homeschooling for a while. I think we're kinda frazzled and tired of it for now. We definitely need a break from each other.

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Update: Just found this ----------> Homeschooling Methods

Holy Week

Last Sunday, AR and I were only supposed to visit the church here in Taoyuan for a quick visit and prayer. But since we entered the church and the mass was already underway, we decided to finish the mass.

I finally understand why my Mom used to sit at the back during mass when we were kids. It definitely helps if Matt's a little hyper to have room to move around rather than staying in his seat.

He was checking out the church store items in a glass counter behind us and he wanted to buy a crucifix. I kept telling him all throughout the mass to wait after the mass because nobody will sell them to us during mass. Then I saw the leaflets and flyers sitting in front of us and I grabbed one that had a cross in front, hoping he'd be content with that.

No such luck. But he did grab, for himself, a brochure depicting the Stations of the Cross. Well, that was how he lasted through the mass. I tried as best as I could to explain each of the photos, i.e. "See, Matt, this is when Jesus fell for the first time." It kinda got a little morbid when I started on, "See, Matt, this is when they nailed His hands to the cross."

But, honestly, you'll be surprised at how much a 5-year-old (Matt's 5!!! Where did the time go?!) can take in. Matt's actually got a very brutal vocabulary, which includes "blood" and "dead". And, nope, it doesn't mean there's nothing wrong with him. Four-year-olds are notorious for having a very explicit vocabulary. But, you see, to them, death is reversible. They're still distinguishing between what is real and fantasy.

So, Monday, yesterday, I figured, we might as well proceed with an introduction to Holy Week since he saw the palm leaves people were carrying into the church. (Of course he wanted one but nobody was selling it.)

We drew palm branches and cut them out, looked for Jerusalem on Google Earth which is in modern-day Israel near the Dead Sea, then watched videos of people swimming in the Dead Sea on YouTube. (Piece of advice I've yet to actually do: Try to screen beforehand what you and your child are going to watch.) Did you know that the Dead Sea is composed of 67 % water and the rest are minerals? There is no sand at the bottom of the Dead Sea, it's just all salt.



As much as I try to explain the concept of Holy Week to a 5-year-old, he's still more interested in making Easter eggs this coming Saturday.

Some helpful links:

How Easter Works plus an explanation of Lent and Holy Week

Palm Sunday for kids

Map above and an explanation of who Jesus is

Modern Day Map

Where was Jesus born

Just for Fun

P.S. I asked Matt if the Easter Bunny is real or make-believe. He said, "Real?" When I shook my head, he said, "Make-believe!"

Finally, my fave one is this:

Interactive Easter Story

Stuff to learn, stuff to teach

Discpline and Respect

How to Get Your Preschooler to Listen to You and Respect You

The Concept of Time

Teaching The Concept Of Time

Weather

What’s the Weather?

Weather and Seasons

General Things to Teach Preschoolers

How to Teach Preschool at Home

The Importance of Washing Your Hands

Hand Washing for Kids

Teaching Hand Washing to Kids

Fun Time

Bath Crayons